receiving

several friends and family are undergoing or about to undergo retreat over the next few weeks and having recently returned myself, this makes me very happy to hear.

getting back to "the real world" here in Hull is proving, perhaps inevitably, to be a bit bumpy post-Chomon. i am after all, still very much the same person with the same hang-ups and delusions.

i guess there's a danger if we enter into something such as retreat with the idea of achieving or accomplishing. of course, that's the kind of goal-orientated society we live in so it's not hard to see why it frequently permeates all aspects of our lives, from social interactions and recreational pursuits to yes, spiritual ones. but if that's the frame of mind we have prior to retreat then it may come as a shock, once back in the saha world, back to work, back to pleasure, back to same old habits to realise how little we've changed!

looking back over my time across in Japan with the benefit that a few weeks can bring, i see a process not of achieving anything through my own efforts but instead, and this may come as no surprise to fellow nembutsu followers, always receiving from Other. and i think holding this experience in mind is helping me now as i settle unsteadily back into the grind. there's always a firm tendency to wish to bring about solutions to any problems we encounter but i'm beginning to feel i should instead, calmy be aware of what the problem or problems faced are showing me.because they're none other than my own nature. the same nature that receives Amida's embrace.

namu amida butsu